Poo, Pee and other Bathroom Matters........

This is a graphic rant about little boys and their bathroom habits. If you are offended by such please stop reading. I'm done with the rear ends of my children. I mean 99% of the time I love that we have two little boys. I relate to boys better than girls. I don't like pink, I don't do my hair, I haven't worn makeup in years (last time I did I broke out in hives-that is a separate story) and in general I do better with the male side of the species. With one minor exception---the bathroom. Is it impossible for them to go to the bathroom without landing urine in some unfortunate location where I am likely to sit or stand on it. Is it so difficult to just get the urine in the toilet? I used half a thing of wipes cleaning said urine off of one toilet today. It was oozing from parts of the toilet that should never have any contact with urine. There was a urine ring around the bottom of the toilet. I'm contemplating re-caulking the bottom of the toilet (which it needs anyway) just to rid of the yellow urine stains. I was so upset about the urine that later in the day when an un-named 7 year-old ran in to use the restroom while playing outside with a friend and peed on the seat, I very nearly ran outside with a wad of toilet paper and an earful for him before Eric stopped me and convinced me that completely humiliating my son in public was probably not the answer. To top it all off Wilder proceeded to have a real blowout--which I cleaned--while grumbling under my breath. And then.... it was time to wash diapers--which I admit is my choice to use cloth-but really people could there be anymore of this today? With any luck Wilder will pee all over my bed tonight or the cat will vomit on the carpet. Okay, I'm done and I feel infinately better getting all of that off my chest. I have a friend who has 3 (gasp!) little boys and she has considered developing a product that absorbs all the pee around the toilet. Like a giant maxi pad. Perhaps we will go into business together someday and make millions and then...................I will hire a maid to clean my bathroom.